Will 2013 be the year of Monogaymist? Quite possibly. Stay tuned.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

The One and I had spoken on the phone a couple of times and had decided to take our online romance into the real world. After some emails about the perfect place, we decided to meet at a hip café downtown.

I got there early (of course) to scope out the place and get a good table. There were so many thoughts running through my mind:

  • Will this be another uninspired or frustrating date?
  • Will he actually look like his photos?
  • Did I really have to have that 2nd Cinnabon yesterday?

There’s something to be said about the anticipation involved in dating, especially the first few dates. Every email, every phone call, every meeting holds so much potential and excitement. Any one of those could, quite literally, change your life forever.

Yet we keep pushing and go on date after date, hoping the next one will be better, funnier, sexier.

And sometimes our wishes come true.

When The One walked in, I was immediately taken aback by his silent confidence and rugged handsomeness. His eyes gave the impression that he’d seen a vast array of things in life, but his smile told me there was mischievous little guy hiding in there somewhere.

As we chatted over coffee and went through the usual first date questions, the time flew by and I found myself really intrigued by him. He wasn’t like any other guy I had met or dated in the past; we came from very different paths in life, he had such a sexy, mature energy about him and we had some very distinct similarities—but also very strong differences.

Before I knew it, I was suggesting a 2nd date (and I’d never done that!). Gladly he agreed and we set something up right then and there.

First dates can be fun, but some can have you running for the convent. What’s your favorite first date memory, good or bad?

I established this blog a while ago and for some reason haven’t had the time—or made the commitment—to keep it updated. That’s going to change. Let’s do this!

Some of the most frustrating parts of dating, I’m sure you’ll agree, is finding people to date who are on the same page as you are. There are so many things to worry about: the place, whether a physical location or a website; the type, whether it’s gender or physical description or a top or bottom; and even purpose, by which I mean a quickie or a long-term relationship (or something in between).

For example, you can find plenty of guys at a gay bar or any of the numerous gay websites. But…

  • What does the location say about you and/or your potential new “friend?”
  • What if all you want is a cute bottom and all you’re finding is a room full of bear tops?
  • Why is everyone looking for a quickie when you really just want someone to settle down with?

I’m simplifying a bit but I’m sure you can imagine (or relate!) how much more complicated it can get.

I’ve met dates in person as well as online. Some of the guys I met in person turned out to be more deceptive than anyone I had met online, and some of the guys I met online turned out to be nothing like what I expected them to be offline. In short: dating can suck no matter where or how you meet someone.

But I can say that things are a bit different now than they were, say, five years ago. Online dating used to have a loser/nerdy/anti-social stigma attached, and those of us who met people on the Internet often had to make up a story using real-life locations. “Oh him? We, umm, ran into each other while, uhh, heading to the bathroom at <insert random location here>. He was wearing Abercrombie and so was I. What a coincidence!”

Today, practically everyone I know—gay and straight—has met at least one person online. Online dating site match.com even has a commercial stating 1 in 5 relationships today started on the Internet. Sounds good enough to me.

So what have you had to deal with in online dating? I’d love to hear your craziest stories in the comments.

And in case you were wondering… I met The One online. More details soon. ;)

In the gay world, there are lots of “types” of guys. You know… the slut, the closet case, the bear, the queen, etc.

But in all of our various groups there’s always at least one guy who wants to settle down. He longs to be in a long-term relationship with someone he loves. He’s tired of the casual hook-ups and the draining breakdowns. In his ideal world, he’ll kiss a lot of frogs but eventually meet The One.

But what happens after you meet The One?

Where do you turn for insight on maintaining a long-term gay relationship?

How do you know if the steps you’re taking in the relationship are the right ones?

Without social support for long-term gay relationships (we still can’t get married in most places, remember?), the challenges of fostering a healthy relationship can be frustrating—and isolating.

And that’s where this blog comes in. I hope to document the steps of my LTR: the questions, the hopes, the fantasies—and perhaps most importantly, the realities, no matter how harsh.

Here goes nothing.